Many of you have heard my story about growing up without my mother in my household. All teenagers need both parents to teach them about adulthood. Unfortunately, some of us don’t have that option. A parent may have died. Parents may have gotten a divorce or one parent left the family. In my case, my parents got a divorce and my dad received custody of my brother and me. Both of my parents were dysfunctional, but my dad still received custody.
My household was not normal. Neither of my parents were educated. We didn’t have money. We lived in poverty. Both of my parents lacked normal life skills, but knew some of the basic life skills needed to barely survive. This was the usual within my extended family and environment. This motivated me to want more, so I taught myself how to be the woman I wanted to be. Before I go into what I did to survive, I’m going to list the struggles I had to overcome to survive, first:
Lack of support/Choosing who to support
Insults/Down playing your goals and dreams
Lack of resources
Lived in poverty
Despite the struggles I had to overcome first, I was able to teach myself the basics of survival. Here’s how:
I read a lot of books to learn about life and people.
I took every opportunity that came my way so I could learn about the world and develop skills that would benefit later in life.
I asked questions every chance I got.
I paid close attention to how people were around me and pushed myself not to become how they were.
To balance my mental health, I wrote down my feelings, goals and dreams, struggles, and much more daily .
I knew what I wanted to do in life, so I only focused on the things I knew would get me there and I didn’t allow the things that wouldn’t into my life.
Growing up without my mother in my household was hard, but dealing with family members who used your circumstances against you was even harder. The same people who put me in the position used my struggles as a young woman against me and refused to help. If you start off in the struggle, without resources, your family coming against you, living in poverty, and lack of support- It’s going to make the process of survival even harder. I had to live to live to survive first, before I was able to live.